Simpsons' 'Steamed Hams' 🎉 bday party

"It's an Albany expression." PLUS: Catching up on local news.

If you’re a Simpsons fan, you’re crossing the Twin Bridges on Tuesday. The man, the myth, the legend behind the internationally-acclaimed “it’s an Albany expression” double-down is on his way.

For the very first time.

Read on,

— Abby

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Bill Oakley, the writer behind “it’s an Albany expression,” heads to the Capital Region — for his very first time.

And you’re invited!

Q: How did “Steamed Hams” come about?

Bill Oakley: I was writing a segment for the episode 22 Short Films About Springfield — everyone got to pick a favorite character and write a short piece. I chose Principal Skinner, who comes as a set with Superintendent Chalmers. They already had this dynamic where Skinner would tell a preposterous lie and Chalmers would eventually let it go. I thought, what if one time he didn’t let it go? What if he kept pressing, forcing Skinner into more and more ridiculous lies? The boss-coming-to-dinner premise is a comedy staple, so I needed a very familiar setting. Then I landed on two rhyming foods — “steamed clams” and “steamed hams” — and it kind of wrote itself from there.

Q: Why Albany?

BO: Albany was already a go-to comedy reference city on The Simpsons — there were references to it before I even got there. When Skinner needed a regional excuse for calling hamburgers “steamed hams,” Albany was just our go-to city. Chalmers pushed back, Skinner dug in, and it got more and more preposterous from there.

Q: You didn’t hear anything about it for 20 years?

BO: Not a word. Then in 2014 people started messaging me on Twitter saying Australians were prank-calling Woolworths grocery stores asking for steamed hams. Woolworths actually leaned into it — signs appeared in stores, they made a Facebook video. That seemed to kickstart this momentum, and then it crossed the Pacific. There are at least 10,000 remixes on YouTube, and it was named Internet Meme of the Year in 2018.

Bill Oakley (above) — now a bona fide food writer — will be serving trademarked Steamed Hams burgers Tuesday night at Druthers.

Q: Is it still a thing?

BO: Yes — the wave has crashed but it never died. Some of the best remixes have actually appeared in the last two years, mostly from one incredibly talented Canadian guy. It’s become like a shorthand, the way I Love Lucy fans know the chocolate factory scene or Brady Bunch fans know Marcia getting hit by the football. It’s one of those things everybody just knows.

Q: You’ve never actually been to Albany?

BO: Never. That’s part of why I wanted to do this event there — it felt like the only appropriate place. And I’m hoping the ticket sales at least cover the trip!

Q: Ironically, now you do real food writing.

BO: About 70% of my work these days is food. I’m a regular panelist on the History Channel’s The Food That Built America, and for the past year and a half I’ve been doing ticketed dinners around the country where I serve unusual American foods and tell funny stories. I actually trademarked “Steamed Hams” for hamburgers — Fox wasn’t paying attention — so at these events we’re literally serving Bill Oakley-trademarked Steamed Hams burgers. First time ever.

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In addition to official Steamed Hams burgers, Druthers will be serving Simpsons-themed cocktails.

Bill Oakley will perform two one-hour showings (6 p.m. and 8 p.m.) at Druthers (1053 Broadway, Albany) next Tuesday, April 14 — which is the famous episode’s 30th anniversary.

To the day.

“Bill will be talking about the making of the iconic ‘Steamed Hams’ episode, which famously references Albany,” says Druthers’ Lexi Cunniff. “He is taking the audience through the journey of how the show was made and the cultural impact it had after airing.”

To grab one of the last tickets (including an optional VIP meet-and-greet), visit eventbrite.com.

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🚗 HEADS UP

Get your parking ticket waived — but you’d better hop to it

The Saratoga Springs Department of Public Safety’s Parking Violation Late Fee Amnesty Program begins Monday — during this period, individuals with outstanding parking tickets will have the opportunity to resolve their violations and have all associated late fees waived.

You read that right.

To handle the inevitable influx of downtown drivers, the Parking Violations Office’s hours will be extended to 9 a.m. to 3 p.m. on the following Saturdays: April 18 and April 25. Inquiries can be made by contacting the Parking Violations Office at 518-587-3550 ext. 2513.

Don’t delay — this amnesty period ends after the second elongated Saturday, April 25.

And then the City has warned that it will begin referring unpaid parking violations to a collections agency.

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Saratoga County DA announces guilty plea, sentencing in sexual abuse case

Saratoga County District Attorney Brett Eby announced today that Stephen Bottino has pled guilty to Sexual Abuse in the First Degree, the sole felony charge for which he was arrested.

The Court sentenced the defendant to one year in the Saratoga County Jail over the objection of the prosecution, who advocated for a state prison sentence.

“Our office fought for the victim and believed that a state prison sentence was an appropriate and just result given the nature of the crime,” Eby said in a statement. “We remain committed to advocating for victims and ensuring their voices are heard throughout the judicial process.”

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Tomorrow night: Elliot Lurie with ‘Yacht Rock Gold’

A nostalgia-driven production built around the soft rock canon of the late ’70s and early ’80s, Yacht Rock Gold aims squarely at an audience that values familiarity and musicianship over reinvention. Anchored by Elliot Lurie, the show leans into legacy appeal, blending tribute performance with firsthand connection to the era it recreates.

“This is way before your time,” says UPH’s executive director, Teddy Foster, who knows that flattery will get you everywhere. “But Elliot Laurie had a song, ‘Brandy (You're a Fine Girl).’ We sell out on Yacht Rock all the time, because everybody comes, they sing, they dance. It’s going to be a lot of fun.”

Expect familiar tunes from the likes of Steely Dan, the Doobies, Little River Band and Fleetwood Mac.

To grab your last-minute ticket, visit atuph.org.

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📰 IN BRIEF

The Bunker is expanding — again

Capital Region hotspot The Bunker — Saratoga’s outpost of the popular sports bar and golf simulator is at the corner of Congress and Broadway — is expanding, reports Sam Raudins in the Albany Business Review. The new location is near Turning Stone Resort Casino and proceeds the owner’s plan to “aggressively” seek franchise opportunities, writes the outlet.

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Ballston Area Community Center recovering after flooding forced closure

By Lauren Behan

BALLSTON SPA - While spring has certainly sprung, Ballston Area Community Center is still recovering from a rough winter.

In early February, a frozen pipe caused catastrophic flooding that forced the beloved center’s facility, located at 20 Malta Ave. in Ballston Spa, to close for seven weeks.

This impacted a total of 200 local families who rely on the center for Universal Pre-K and childcare.

During the temporary closure, classrooms, floors, walls and materials all needed to be replaced.

“Thanks to our incredible staff, school district, vendors, and community, we are officially back open as of March 23,” a statement from nonprofit’s board read. “Kids are learning, playing, and back where they belong.”

BACC has been operating as a vital part of the community since 1981, providing essential community services, programs, support and projects that enhance the social, emotional and recreational development of youth and families of the Ballston Area.

As BACC resumes its regular childcare, pre-kindergarten, teen, and community programs — all offered at no cost or low-cost — it is seeking donations to help the organization continue its mission.

“If this center has impacted your family or you believe in supporting spaces like this, please consider donating,” the nonprofit asked. “Every dollar helps us continue providing a safe and enriching environment for our kids.”

Donations can be made online at ballstonareacc.org.

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📌 ICYMI…

Events 🗓️ calendar launch! (And Dispatch Dinner Club launch recap)

EXCLUSIVE: 🏇 Tom Durkin’s unofficial start to racing season

A bikini-clad 👙 horse hits downtown

Saratoga’s real 💧 water story

Day Trip from Saratoga: Indulge in Kinderhook

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Never corporate, always local.

— Abby

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